Title: Saving Love
Author: Bj Jones
Rating: FRT
Summary: Reaching out to a lost love
Series: Goodnight Nick, One More Victim, Fixer Upper, Breakfast, Moving On, Messages, Saving Love, Shower Food Sleep, Home, Full Circle
***
Eric hadn’t seen Speed for over six months. He ran a hand through his hair and sighed. His friend looked stressed, agitated, and pissed off – pretty much the way he looked the last time he had seen him. Eric had showed up at Speed’s house the day he was packing, demanding to know why he had just upped and quit. The look of utter pain in his eyes had actually forced him physically back.
‘Considering mylover just left me for your poor dying sister,’ he had snapped, ‘what else am I supposed to do? Sit around and watch? Be the best man at their wedding, godfather to their children?’
Eric had stammered out a pathetic apology and turned and fled. Horatio had never known that Eric had found out about his relationship with Speed. He had never accepted H’s relationship with his sister. Marisol and his parents accused him of not wanting his sister happy. He ignored it until one day after the wedding when Marisol asked him what was so wrong with her being married to Horatio and happy. Eric had snapped, stating her happiness meant the broken heart of his best friend, and had taken it one step further when he snarled that despite her being Mrs. Caine she would never have Horatio’s heart.
She was killed a few days later.
Horatio had lost it, going to Brazil to hunt down her killer. Eric had followed hoping to keep him sane and alive. Now he found himself waiting for his best friend to arrive. The only man who could pull Horatio from the edge.
“Where is he?” Speed asked straight out as he walked up to the Cuban-Russian.
“I don’t know,” Eric motioned towards the car.
“What the hell? You don’t know!” His voice dropped into a low growl. “Where the fuck is he, Eric?”
He turned towards his friend. “We got here to take Riaz back to Miami. The Brazilian government decided our paperwork wasn’t good enough and let him go.”
“He kills a woman in the US, and they just let him go?” Gil asked speaking for the first time.
“Riaz has got connections down here.” Eric turned towards him. “Good connections. He had made a deal with the Feds. In exchange for information they shipped him home. Though I doubt he thought we would follow.”
“So this Riaz is just walking around?” Speed demanded.
“No.” Eric paused. “H killed him.”
The bag dropped out of Speed’s hand, hitting the ground with a deafening thud. He stared at his friend with shock and dismay. For Horatio to take a life…
Gil placed a hand on Tim’s back trying to calm the younger man down. Eric watched the display and groaned inwardly. Speed had moved on, not that Eric blamed him, but this just made things a hell of lot more complicated. He knew without a doubt only Tim could pull Horatio back from the edge.
“I take it you have a hotel?” Grissom asked grabbing Speed’s bag.
“Yes.” Eric led them to the car. Sometimes despite the guilt of thinking it, he really hated his sister for her quest to claim one Horatio Caine. So many had been hurt and destroyed so she could have her ‘dream’. And now, even in her death, more lives were being destroyed.
***
Gil got them settled into their room, just watching as Speed looked over the reports. He didn’t even know this Marisol but he hated her. In Gil’s mind she was no better than Walter Gordon. She had taken something precious and destroyed it. He set the bag down and moved towards his lover; kneeling in front of him he took the files out of his hands.
“Gil…” Speed frowned.
Pulling him close, he kissed the young man deeply. “Let’s get some rest.” He placed a finger over Tim’s lips to stop him from protesting. “Just an hour or two. Then we’ll sit and scour over these files and reports and start our hunt.”
Speed nodded and let himself be led to the bed. He curled up into Gil’s arms. “I love you.”
“I love you too.” Grissom kissed the top of his head. “Sleep.” He stroked his hand calmly up and down Tim’s back until he felt the young man fall asleep, then soon followed.
***
Three days had gone by and Speed had found nothing. He was agitated and pissed beyond reason. Eric and Gil had tried to calm him down but nothing seemed to be working. Grissom was terrified of what Tim would do if they found Caine’s body. They were back at the hotel once again another day of fruitless searching. Eric had called Miami to let them know how things were going, while Gil did the same, talking with Catherine. He watched as Speed slipped out of the room. His instinct told him to let him go, Tim needed time to think. He sighed and hung up the phone, lying on their bed he closed his eyes. He had found it a bit strange that he seemed to be sending up prayers to Nick, considering his low viewpoint on religion, he found it ironic that the idea of Nick as angel fitted easily enough for him to hope in a higher being.
Speed wandered the streets lost in his thoughts. He has been on an emotional rollercoaster for the past few days and was worn to the bone. He had thought he had dealt with his feelings towards Horatio, but being here in Rio looking for the redhead had brought to the surface the depth of emotion he had towards the man. He couldn’t deny it to himself or to Gil. He still loved Horatio, and probably always would. Damn him!
He found himself down by the beach, a slight smile on his face; so many memories, good memories of the two of them at the beach. Horatio had made him a better person, and despite the pain losing him had cost, he had become stronger. And now his ex-lover needed him. If he could just find him. Tim turned to head back to the hotel and curl up with Gil; tomorrow they would continue the search. He paused when a flash of red caught his attention. Turning back, around he glanced down the beach. It really shouldn’t have surprised him to finally find H by the beach. The sea had always called to the redhead.
Speed moved towards him in a fast clip, half worried he would disappear, the other half pissed as hell. By the time he reached the redhead, Horatio had turned and stepped back in shock to see Speed standing in front of him. He was even more shocked when the fist connected with his jaw sending him down into the sand.
“You FUCKING bastard!” Speed screamed. “You have been scaring the shit out of me, Eric, Calleigh, Alexx… hell half of fucking Miami and Vegas is worried sick!”
Horatio just stared up at his ex-lover in shock. “Speed?”
“No fucking Santa Claus,” Tim reached down and pulled Horatio up off the ground and into his arms kissing him hard and desperate. Horatio sagged into his arms holding him close moaning at the touch and feel of Speed in his arms.
Horatio pulled back his hand cupping the scruffy cheek. “Oh God Speed…”
Tim looked up into Horatio’s blue eyes. His grip tightened on his former lover. The pain he saw in them was deep and intense, Horatio Caine was lost and at a breaking point. Speed ran a hand through the dull and dirty red hair, pulling him close and kissing him softly. “I’ve got you.”
“I’m so sorry…” Horatio gripped him tighter. “I just wanted to help…”
“Shhhh,” Speed just held him. “Let it go, H.”
He buried his face into Tim’s shoulder, inhaling his unique scent. “How? I hurt the only thing in my life I truly wanted.” He looked up at Speed. “I walked away from you, so I could do the ‘right’ thing. I hurt the one person I swore I never would.”
“I…” he closed his eyes emotions overwhelming him. “I can’t lie and say it didn’t hurt. It did. You broke my heart.”
Horatio tried to pull away. “Speed I appreciate you coming, but I know about Gil.” Speed looked at him blinking slightly. “He’s a good man, will love you the way I should have… just forget you found me and start your life over with him.” The redhead found himself on his backside again rubbing his jaw. “Never realized you had such a good left hook.”
Speed stood over him, growling. “I should leave you here and let you wallow in your self-pity and guilt.” He dropped to his knees in front of H as the fight left him. “But I can’t, and if you’re wondering why, it’s because despite the past six months, despite the pain I felt, I still love you.”
Horatio stared at him, his head shaking. “Speed…”
“No.” He held his fingers over the redhead’s lips. “For once you’re going to listen to me, and not play the hero.” He ran a hand over the scruffy cheek. “I love you. Yes it hurt like hell when you walked away that day, but I also know it was something you had to do.” His eyebrow went up as Horatio tried to say something, the redhead wisely shut up. “But I’ve learned something. This world is fucked up. Things happen that we don’t understand but as time goes on we begin to see why. I was meant to be and needed in Vegas, to meet and love Gil. But that doesn’t mean that I had to let the love I felt for you diminish. Gil taught me that.”
Horatio leaned into the soft touch. “Now what?”
“What do you want?” Speed asked. “And no being Horatio Caine the hero, doing what’s good or what you think is good for everyone else. I want the truth.”
“You.” He answered. “I want you.” He leaned over and took Speed’s mouth into a sweet kiss. “What do I have to do? To win you back?”
Speed frowned. “I … oh God… I …”
“Just be willing to accept a reclusive entomologist into the mix.” Gil’s voice carried over them as he knelt next to them.
Horatio looked over at the older man, blue eyes once again sharp and focused. “Are you suggesting what I think you’re suggesting?”
“Yes,” he smiled. “Tim loves you, and I know he loves me. I’m not going to add undo pain by making him choose or struggle any more than he already has.”
The redhead looked over a shell-shocked Speed. “I think you’ve managed to shock him.”
“I keep doing that to him,” Gil smirked then turned serious. “Horatio, I will admit I thought you were a fool to let him walk away, but I also didn’t have all the evidence. I still think you were an idiot, but I can sadly understand the reasoning. Tim gave me a focus, a reason to smile after losing Nick, and I firmly believe that my Texan has had a hand in arranging this…” he waved his hand between the three of them. “And I learned early on that when Nick’s on a mission it’s best to just go with what he wants, because the pout and soulful brown eyes will just do you in.” Both men turned and looked at Speed who suddenly got a ‘What?’ expression.
“I honestly don’t think I can go back to my old life,” Horatio sighed. “Part of me died that day on the beach and another part when Marisol was killed.”
“Then don’t,” Gil smiled at him. “Start a new life.”
“With both of you?” Horatio gestured between them.
“Yes.” He smiled back.
“Hello,” Speed looked at them. “Are you two suggesting we go back to Vegas and what?”
“We don’t have to go back to Vegas,” Gil leaned over and kissed Speed softly. “We can all start a new life. Learn as we go. Leave the past behind.”
Tim blinked at them. “You two are insane.”
“You love us both so what does that say about you?” Horatio smirked at him.
“I’m totally certifiable.” Speed shook his head. “Okay. So where do we go from here?”
“To the hotel,” Gil stood up his hand out towards Horatio. “Get cleaned up, eat, and see what happens.”
Speed looked up at the two of them as he stood up. “You know, a hot shower, food and sleep sound really good. We can plan the rest of our lives tomorrow.”
Horatio took Speed’s hand and pulled him close kissing him on the forehead, “Thank you for saving me.” He glanced over at Gil. “I was slipping fast…”
Gil slipped his hand into Tim’s dark locks before looking up at the redhead. “We got you.”